2.28.2014

track is back

Guys,

Getting all Fan Girl on you with Miss Sarah, because Willamette University's Track season is in full swing. Our first meet is this weekend! Holy Moly, that pretty much means all my Saturdays until the end of May will be spent at the track. It also means I will be in full nostalgia mode for a while. True story, I miss competing. Last night I even brought my Javelin boots out to the track so I could throw around with the girls. In case you're wondering, I've still kind of got it. The little freshman gal I coach was impressed. Don't worry though, my old coach also saw me throwing and brought me back down to reality when he pointed out my form was garbage. This ego is still in check.




//Anyway, enough about my love of track and field. Let's get to some entertaining links. 

//Not really eating much dairy these days, but how good do these new flavors look?! HAZED AND CONFUSED GET IN MY MOUTH! 

//My love for Paul Rudd runs deep. 

//This was kind of a given, but Juan Pablo is the worst. 

//This instagram feed. Cuteness overload. 

//JLaw and the history of cool girls

//Holy crap:  the average American consumes 16 percent of his or her daily calories from sugars added during food production

//Lastly, for #backthatazzup Friday, I have this Jam I heard yesterday on the way to practice. It reminds me of summer. It features the lead singer of Sublime. It also makes me miss the original lead singer of Sublime. I mean Rome,  you're cool and all, but I miss Bradley Nowell. Why do all the talented ones OD from heroine?! Anyway...... It's sunnyish in Portland today, so I am going to pretend it is summer. 

Lay Me Down by The Dirty Heads on Grooveshark
Cheers! 
<3 BB

2.27.2014

legs for days

The other day I shared a great (in my humble opinion) playlist for a workout...but I didn't share a great workout for you to go with it. How rude - Said in my best Stephanie Tanner. So, today I wanted to first, say how horribly sorry I am and second, hook you up with a great leg workout! I know you're super excited. 

And because I am such a nice person here are video tutorials on the movements in case you were unsure of what to do. Now you have no excuses to get out of this workout.


Make sure you do 15 reps each leg! This workout can easily be done in your livingroom with or without dumbbells. So really, I don't want to hear any excuses, such as, but not limited to 'I don't have a gym membership,' 'I don't have the right equipment', etc. 

Now go get sweaty, people! 

<3 BB 

2.26.2014

Juansday // Week 8

Guys, this week of the Bachelor was more than a little rough for Bradley. The love of Brad's Juan's life got sent home and he still hasn't recovered from it. It is like he is mourning the loss of his own relationship...and yet I am still here. Not sure how I feel about it, but whatever, I hope he finds love with Renee and her bracelet making son Ben someday. Anyway, let's get to his recap. It is a little on the pathetic side, but can you blame him, he is heartbroken this week. Good news for you guys, less words to read. I know reading a lot of words can be hard.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

The Bachelor Week 8 Recap


Juan Pablo officially sucks

After eight weeks of The Bachelor, we are officially down to our final two girls.  Nikki and Clare are the last two standing after all the group dates and the one-on-one dates with Juany Pabs.

I’m not going to lie to you all, the two shows this week had a hard time keeping my attention.  I think I’ve officially had too much Juan Pablo.  He bores me. To be frank, Juany Pabs is boring, and I’m fairly certain that whomever ends up with JP in the end is going to be miserable.  Unless that person is Clare, then everyone loses.

I don’t want to live in a world where Renee is sent home in favor of Clare.  Juany Pabs sent home the one person (Renee) who actually has feelings for him, and who would be the best fit for him in the end.  It says a lot when two of Juany Pabs’ top five girls left the show on their own accord because they didn’t have feelings for him.

Let’s look at the top reasons why Juan Pablo sucks as The Bachelor.

8//  Juan Pablo chose this:




over this:



Idiot. ... I want to feel bad for you, Bradley. I really do...but I don't. You Juanny and Renee are not meant to be. #BrookeEdit

7// Clare is in the top two.  Clare stepped out of the limo FAKING A PREGNANCY! Let us never forget that.  This SCREAMS red flag:




6//  The first thing Juan Pablo says in any situation where a girl is upset is “Look at me.” Followed shortly afterwards by “stop crying.” Ladies, you have to love that kind of empathy in a man right?  

5//  Every date this season seemingly took place in or around the water. I get that a large part of this show is based around the premise of “let’s look at the pretty girls,” but Juany Pabs would have no idea what to do with himself in a city like Sacramento.

4//  He uses his daughter as an excuse to not kiss some girls, while then proceeding to make out with other girls without a question.  Be careful not to get too close though, because he will DEFINITELY use his daughter as an excuse to shame you after banging him in the ocean.

3// Juan Pablo’s idea of an ideal date goes something like this:
JP: You Look so beautiful in your bikini surrounded by all this water.
Girl: Thanks, you look great yourself. You know, I’ve been thinking a lot and I want to know a little more about you.
JP: Un besito! (leans in for a kiss)
Girl: (after the kiss) That was nice. Where do you see this relationship headed? Do you Can you see me as your wi…
JP: BESITO!!!! (leans in for kiss)

So yeah, Juan Pablo is a great guy, so long as you don’t actually have to talk with him.

2//  Juan Pablo loves touching faces.  Loves it. With his limited grasp of English and his insistence of grabbing everyone’s face in his hands, Juan Pablo looks like Helen Keller. (My apologies to Helen Keller, for comparing you to JP).  But seriously:




I’m telling you, it’s like the Lionel Richie “Hello” video:



1//  When the two most intelligent girls on this show dump you, and one of them specifically says “I wish I was dumber” in reference to why things aren’t working, you know you have issues.


So yeah, I’m a little burnt out on the Bachelor this season.  I wish I could spice up this recap a little more, but Juan Pablo has sucked my will to write anything.  That may be the biggest reason of all why this Bachelor sucks.


Let’s at least hope for a good finale.


Unless Clare wins, then I’m burning this place to the ground.


-Sad Brad


Images 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,


2.25.2014

get fit playlist

Today I wanted to throw some music your way that you can use for your workout playlist....because I am going to assume that 1) you workout and 2) you want to listen to awesome music when you do said workout.

The playlist has a little bit of everything. I like to keep my workout music varied with good beats and uptempo vibes, but it doesn't have to beat you over the head with intensity. Plus, this playlist has got my girl Beyonce and let's be honest, if she doesn't make you want to get a little sweaty, then you're doing it wrong. 


Now go throw some weights around or run in circles - whatever burns some calories! It's good for you. 



Cheers! 

<3 BB 

Image found here




2.24.2014

Highlights and lowlights

Who wants to discuss the high and low lights from my weekend?! Too bad if you said no, we are doing it anyway suckas

Highlights

//Yesterday, I was successfulish in attempting an art project for something above our bed that has been bare for over 2 years. More on that later this week. 

//Ate my bodyweight in Sauerkraut and Brats with my family at the local Sauerkraut Feed put on by my Grandpa's Lions Club. 

//Danced the chicken dance. 

//Even got my little cousin (and by little, I mean, the kid is a freshman in high school and already 6'3) to dance the polka in front of old people with me. 

//Went on a longish run on Saturday and didn't die. It was also sunny, even if it was cold. 



//Bought 2 boxes of Girl Scout cookies.


Lowlights

//Tried to stop by Petco to look at puppies and the Petco didn't even have any puppies to look at. WTF. 

//I didn't have enough cash on me for a box of Thin Mints. 

//Ate way too many said Girl Scout cookies.

//It is official, I cannot, for the life of me, dance. When I said danced the polka earlier, what I really meant was hop around in a circle. 

//I got really, irrationally upset over the fact that I am zero percent crafty. 

//It took me 3 attempts to paint a triangle. A TRIANGLE. So elementary, Watson.

//Brad and I have been having an argument for a long while now about whether lemons or limes are superior. I say lemons hands down, but then he took it to a vote on Facebook and evidently people are idiots, because the majority of them voted for Limes...Then again who even uses Facebook anymore? What a loser. The only people that comment on those kind of polls shouldn't be trusted. Unless it is my Aunt LeAnn, because she voted for Lemons and I love her, but then she also voted for Limes too (very politically correct of her) / I can't say anything rude about her. The rest of you Lime lovers can all eat it. 

And that concludes my weekend, friends. 

<3 BB 

2.21.2014

riding the struggle bus

It's been a long week, guys. I skipped a few days of blogging, because I just didn't care; slash didn't have anything to really write about; slash needed a break; slash had other stuff to do. 

Track is in full swing, which means I get to commute over 45 mins one way 3 times a week to practice and meets to help coach. Bonus points, it's been really rainy this week. It makes coaching extra enjoyable. 

I haven't washed my hair since Tuesday. Yes, it's Friday. I am aware, I am a gross human. 

But you know what makes this all okay ...

The fact that I was describing this scene of Parks And Rec to Bradley the other day. 


And when I got home from track last night this was in the oven.

MacNCheese Pizza, people. The only thing healthy about this pizza was the fact that he used coconut milk instead of real milk and whole wheat pasta. The best part about it - I don't even care one bit. Hot Daumn, it was a beautiful sight for my eyeballs and an even more beautiful tasting treat for my tummy. 

Now let's get on to the fun links, so you can go about your Friday and get to the weekend already! 

//Signs you might be Tom Haverford

//What does the way you speak say about where you're from? 

//All of the hilarious hashtags Jimmy Fallon has gotten to trend.  

//Speaking of hashtags, Jimmy is at it again with #hashtag2

//I miss Riggins

//This workout I should do twice after that macNcheese pizza. 

//Why is T.J. Oshie so good at shootouts? 

//Matt Lauer asks Bob Costas if he is taking the red eye home. Get it?! 

And for #backthatazzup Friday, we're going with Price today, because you CANNOT be in a bad mood when you listen to him. It's the law. 


I Wanna Be Your Lover by Prince on Grooveshark

I'll try and be a better blogger next week, but I am not making any promises.

Cheers!

<3 BB

2.19.2014

Juansday // Week 7

Oh hello there guys, late to the game as usual on Wednesday because Brad was slacking with his recap post.... Also, I found out last night he takes this very seriously. The past two weeks he has been live blogging while he watched. Evidently, it is not just that simple though. It is an entire process. With note taking during the show, edits after, and adding the real meat of the post at a later time. Who knew he took so much pride in his Bachelor Fantasy Draft Recaps. I wish he loved me as much as he loves writing this blog post every week...anyways, enjoy!

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Some People Just Want to Watch The World Burn
The Bachelor Week 7 Recap

Once again, we were forced to DVR this week’s episode due to Brooke’s Monday volleyball game - which they again won! I have decided that another running diary is in order for this week’s episode.  Joining us this week, is Cory, who was also unable to watch the show live. Once again, I have no idea what is going to unfold, or where my stream of consciousness will take me.  Put on your high heels and strap on your best push-up bra, it’s time for The Bachelor!

To the live blog!

- As a refresher, there are six girls left - Andi, Chelsie, Kate Gosselin, Nikki, Renee, and Sharleen.  By Kate Gosselin, I mean Clare, of course. I detest them both so much that I consider them interchangeable.

- Due to some great scouting and good management, my team (Here For the Right Reasons) still has both my girls, Renee and Sharleen, remaining.  I own 25% of the field!

- This week the girls take a trip to Miami, the hometown of El Soltero. Fun fact, El Soltero is Spanish for The Bachelor.  Don’t say you didn’t learn something new today.

- JP gets to see Camila for the first time in a long time, and she knows it’s him straight away when he does his signature whistle.  Camila immediately comes running.

- Is having a signature whistle kind of like having your own signature cocktail that you always make, or is it some kind of thing that you acquire when you become a parent, as some kind of secret parental instinct?  Either way, I cannot whistle, and I get a little jealous at all you who can whistle out there.  Don’t rub it in.

- Since the group is in Miami this week, I hope their group date somehow involves showing up midway through the 1st quarter of a Heat game, and then leaving with at least 5 minutes left of a close game. Just like real-life Heat fans.  

- Clare has that look on her face like she is always smelling something rotten.  Even when she’s doing that fake smile thing she does, it looks like she has a whiff of rotten fish in her nostrils.

- Juany Pabs is talking with his cousin about the girls, and Sharleen in particular.  Juan Pablo clearly is all about Sharleen. He tells his cousin that our girl Shar Shar could be the one.

- Sidenote: JP’s cousin has adult braces.

- Sharleen gets a date card hand delivered by JP, and has 10 minutes to get ready. She better change out of those cutoff jean shorts with a slit down the side.  I am not impressed.  Get it together Sharleen, “redneck chic” is not a good look.

- Shocker, Clare throws some shade on Shar Shar getting the first date. She wants all the one-on-one dates, and thinks it’s not fair that other girls can get alone dates with Juany Pabs.

- Sharleen is saying that she might go home on her own recognizance if she is still not feeling the vibe from JP.  She has not been feeling Juan Pablo from the start.  I can’t blame her, Juan Pablo is kind of boring.

- This is the part of the evening where Brooke and Cory start talking over the show, and I can’t hear anything...

- Rule #1 of The Bachelor, no talking during The Bachelor.

- Sharleen says Juan Pablo is trouble, and they start making out.  Their chemistry is all flash and no substance.  Their relationship is Kim Kardashian.

- Sharleen is entirely too complex and sophisticated for Juany Pabs. That is a compliment for Sharleen by the way.

- Cutting away from the date, we see Nikki tell the other girls that Juan Pablo can’t just move to London (or wherever it is Sharleen lives) to be with Sharleen, because he has a kid. I don’t think Nikki understands how airplanes work.

- Sharleen and JP make out in the ocean. Trus life, JP only goes on dates involving water.

- Juan Pablo (to Sharleen): “You’re doing very good at not trying to impress me, and you impress me. I like that.”

- Sharleen (to Juan Pablo) “Why can’t I stop kissing you?” Because there is nothing else that drives conversation, obviously.

- Juany Pabs is impressed by the words Sharleen uses when she speaks. So proper.

- Juan Pablo. GRAMMAR FETISH!

- Sharleen - “I wish I was a little dumber.”

- Major points to Sharleen, she manages to insult both Juan Pablo and the rest of the girls in the house for not being on her level.  I love the way Shar Shar plays this game. She is like Beyonce, and everyone else is just the tertiary member of Destiny’s Child that is lucky to even ride her coat tails.

- Chelsie hoping to be on the date card, saying that she has not had any alone time in awhile.  Cheslie just sealed her fate. Clearly she is going home. Never tell the camera you have not had any alone time in awhile, it’s the kiss of death.  Unless you are Clare, and you just think that you’ve had no alone time.  Listen Clare, not all of us get to have ocean sex with Juan Pablo.

- Nikki gets the date card, Clare complains about someone else getting attention. I’ve had bouts of food poisoning that I liked better than Clare.

- Sharleen goes to the house mom Renee for another heart to heart.

- Renee, in the name of everything good and sacred, STOP BEING SO NICE TO EVERYONE. THIS IS A GAME!

- Seriously though, who do you think Renee is rooting for to win this season of The Bachelor? I bet she wants Clare or Andi.  Anyone but herself.

- On Nikki’s solo date with Juany, she admitted (to the camera) that she is absolutely falling in love with Juany Pabs.

- They’re going to Camila’s dance recital.  Nikki is the first one to meet the kid. The Baby Mama is going to be there too!

- Children’s dance recitals, only enjoyable if your child is involved. The thing about children’s dance recitals is that they are perilously similar to child beauty pageants.

- Nikki (to CAMMMMMEEEEELLLLLA #BrookeEdit): “How long have you been practicing?” Camila - “A lot.” Camia clearly doesn’t share her father’s affinity for grammar.

- The evening portion of their date takes place at Juan Pablo’s office at Marlin’s Park. This struck me as odd because Juan Pablo does not work for the Marlins.  Dude’s a “sports and entertainment consultant.” Just because one of your clients is the Venezuelan Baseball Hall of Fame does not mean that you can call the stadium your office.

- Nikki proclaims that “The entire stadium is empty.” Oh, so it’s like an actual Marlins game then.

- Fun fact, Marlins park is one of the worst stadium deals in the history of pro sports.  They hijacked the city, and Miami will be paying of that stadium for decades.

- Not to mention their atrocity of a home run fountain they have in the outfield.

- Nikki is wearing a half shirt. It’s essentially one of those bibs you get at a seafood restaurant, and nothing else. It’s quite interesting to witness from a physics standpoint, really.

- Brooke says Nikki’s hair will struggle in that Miami humidity. If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is...

- Nikki is the first one to say she is in love with Juany Pabs, but she doesn’t actually say it to him.

- Sharleen is still wrestling over whether or not she should stay with JP. That, or she looks like she has major gas. She is super conflicted, and tell the girls that she will be resigning from the show.

- All the girls are secretly excited on the inside. Except for Renee, Renee is rooting for everyone but herself.  Clare legitimately looks like she just won the lottery.

- Sharleen is so committed to slow playing JP so much that she’s going to leave the show in order to have JP wrapped around her finger. Slow playing herself right off this show.  Interesting tactics, Cotton...

- While Shar Shar is telling Juan Pablo that she is leaving, he grabs her face repeatedly.  That’s something that weirds me out about him, Juany Pabs loves touching faces.  It’s like he’s Helen Keller.

- Juan Pablo tells Sharleen “You got my attention, because you’re different.” Had Sharleen not kicked herself off the show, she absolutely would’ve won.  JP  is all about Sharleen. I wish Shar Shar would’ve consulted with me before making a decision that impacts me financially.  Couldn’t she just have faked it for another three weeks?!?!

- Juan Pablo private alone on the balcony crying time. Someone please queue up the Sarah McLachlan, he’s going to need to a good, long cry and a bottle of wine.

- Sharleen (to the camera in her interview): “He doesn’t have what I’m looking for in terms of a forever.”



- Juany Pabs doesn’t even have what Shar Shar looks for in a Thursday, let alone forever.  I have no qualms with Sharleen leaving this show (other than the fact she just cost me money), I can’t blame her for not feeling it.

GROUP DATE

- Oh look, it’s another date involving water. The producers must only give him a choice of dates that force the girls to wear bathing suits.

- It looks like Andi remembered to bring her schmitties on the date.  Cory literally just yelled with excitement.

- The fact that they gave all these attractive girls aqua socks to rock with their bikinis it hilarious.  It’s like putting a Disney World bumper sticker on your Ferrari.

- Chelsie brought her entire day planner and letters from her parents on the group date?!?!

- 5 questions I have about Chelsie bringing letters from home on the group date.
  • Wow, she really must not have anything to talk with Juany Pabs about.
  • Does she bring her day planner on every single group date, just waiting for the right time to spring it upon Juany Pabs?
  • Is this like an advent calendar, where she opens a new letter every day.
  • What happens to the left over letters once she gets sent home after tonight?
  • Is Juan Pablo easily distracted by the bright colors of the envelopes? (yes.).’

- Love this move by Andi. She was walking on the beach with JP and said “get ready for a breakdown,” then proceeded to sit down and just starts crying.  Andi has learned that Juan Pablo has a weakness for tears, and plays right into it.  It;s like Babe Ruth calling his shot. Juan Pablo is putty in these girls’ hands.

- Juany Pabs touches all over Andi’s face now, it’s just so awkward.  Reminds me of the Lionel Richie “Hello” music video. <----- GO watch this video if you have never seen it. Lionel Richie is the greatest, ever. #Brooke Edit.

- Renee’s bathing suit though.  Holy christ.  Shut it down, this show is over.  Renee wins everything.

- No wonder Clare loves attention, she is the youngest of six girls. That says a lot.

- Now it’s Clare’s turn to cry. Here comes her sob story about her dad, and how he made a DVD for her future husband.

- If you’re scoring at home, that’s 4 of 6 girls that have openly cried to Juan Pablo this episode. Like clockwork.

- I would give anything for that video from Clare’s dad to say “Clare is the least favorite of my daughters, and I don’t wish her upon any man. She needs more attention than a toddler with ADHD. Good luck to you buddy.”

- Andi wins the group date rose, Clare throws some serious shade.

- “I deserve something wonderful” - Clare.  Gross.

- She then turns into that lady on the airplane who is about to miss her connection, and is going to let everyone else know about it.

- Clare is a fun sponge, just sucks the life out of all dates.

- It’s time for Andi and Juan Pablo’s solo date.

- They go to a latin dancing club.  We learn that Andi is a terrible dancer. JP must be questioning the decision to give Andi the rose.  Where is Kat when we need her?

- Clare can’t help but be disappointed.  Says she now gets to hang out with Nikki.

- “I want to hang out with Nikki as much as I want to be stung by a jellyfish.”

- I would pay money for that to happen on camera, by the way.

- Nikki points out that the other girls are smiling, and Clare is just stone faced.

- Here it comes, the Nikki v Clare battle royale!!!!

- This just turned into an episode of Basketball Wives.

- The two girls have turned this into a territorial dispute over who actually claims ownership of the bedroom Nikki sleeps in while in Miami. “Who’s suite is this?” “Is your stuff here?” “Did you pay for it?”  “No, did you?”.  I feel like I am taking crazy pills.

- Both girls are now cutting each other off and asking the other to stop cutting them off so she can finish.  This is your life to Juan Pablo.

- Nikki (to Clare): “Why is it always about you?!?” God Bless Nikki.

- The girls are always wearing different shade of highlighter for the cocktail party. Chelsie is in black. She must know she’s about to go home.

- Chelsie trying to diffuse the situation and make conversation, it’s not working.

- Clare is the last one out of all her family that is not married. She is beyond thirsty.

- If you’re scoring at home, Nikki and Clare are feuding.  Nikki is now referring to JP as “my boyfriend”.  Make it stop.

- Clare claiming Nikki is pulling the wool over JP’s eyes.  Pot, meet kettle.

- This might be my least favorite episode of the season.  Way too much negativity.  Not nearly enough Renee.

- Nikki and Clare in a solid game of who will break first.  No one saying anything. It’s a solid thirty seconds of silence before Andi comes over to break the silence, it doesn’t work.

- This must be what the Cold War was like.

- This is like a hostage situation.  Nikki and Clare have hijacked everything.  I want them both gone.

- Sharleen is right.  Everyone on this show is beneath her.

ROSE CEREMONY TIME

- It’s got to be Chelsie that goes home.

- Andi already has a rose

- ...Nikki gets the rose

- ...Clare gets a rose.

- I hate everything.

- Renee or Chelsie.  Team Lowe v Team Snook.

- Cory now yelling at the tv, rooting for Renee to go home. Don’t lie to yourself Cory.

- RENEE GETS THE ROSE!!!

- I don’t want Chelsie to go home.  She’s a nice girl, taking the loss like a champ.  She upped her stock by going on this show.  Best of luck to you ma’am.

- I hope Juany Pabs chooses both Clare AND Nikki in the end.  It would be like dating the 7th circle of hell.  They all deserve each other.

- To recap, the only girl that my team (Here For The Right Reasons) has lost went home on her own accord, and she would’ve won the whole damn thing.  RIP Shar Shar.


- There are TWO Bachelors next week, the hometown dates and the fantasy suite. What should the format of next week’s recap be?  Two updates? One mega update?

- Should we have all of you send in questions for me for a Bachelor mailbag where I answer all your questions?  PLEASE SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS AND I WILL TRY TO ANSWER THEM NEXT WEEK.

- We get teased that something goes horribly wrong in the fantasy suite!!!

- My guess, Andi uses massage oil on JP, but accidentally knocks over a candle, lighting him and the rest of the suite on fire.

- There are a plethora of ideas running through my head about what it is that could’ve gone wrong in the fantasy suite, but not many of them of them are appropriate for this recap. Sorry guys...

Cheers!

<3 BB

Image found here and here.